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Kittens are arseholes

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  A new addition to the Man of the Internet household, a small fluffy kitten.  While being adorably cute and acting a bit of a moron while he grows up and finds his feet and explores the world around him we have made the shocking discovery, kittens are arseholes! We have a dog and did put in the research in to how we should introduce them. We read all the books and have taken all the necessary precautions to aid there smooth integration together. However, there is one thing that nobody ever tells you no matter the sauce of information “cats are little bastards”. As soon as they were both together and things looked like they were going well the bloody cat started hissing in my arms towards the dog. If you want to imagine the sound think a flock of swans with their young at a tranquil lake all hissing at you with the volume on max then you will have some idea of that the cat sounded like. The dog’s reaction “yeah about this, nope I’m out of here. Good luck guys” while walking with a de
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It is cold! ❄

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  Well it is that time of year again, the skies darken early, nobody can be bothered to go outside, the weather forecast makes you wonder why we did not learn to hibernate and hide away. For these who are not from the fine isles of Great Britain there is one thing that you will work out very quickly on your first visit, everybody talks about the weather. This is the way we break up the awkward silence and start with a bit of small talk. What is the only thing that everybody is experiencing at the same time and can be used as a sure fire way to start a conversation, well it is the current weather. During winter there is no exception to this, its cold wet and horrible what better conversation starter do you need? In one normal average day, I had a chain of people telling me how cold it is outside from the postman and the checkout operator in the petrol station to the receptionist at work and my colleagues. All that everybody mentioned was how cold it is! My other half has a habit of
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Why are there still mince pies here!

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Finally, the festive period is finally over and we can all return to a sense of normality without having that fat man dressed in red who has a thing for breaking in to houses via the least effective method possible printed on absolutely everything we buy this time of year. But wait what is that hanging out in the back of the cupboard hanging out with that pot of yeast you were so going to make break with a year or two ago. Hang on a second that is bloody full-unopened box of mince pies! I had a quieter Christmas this year because if for some reason you are not aware there is still a pandemic floating around with a new variant to share for all! For some reason, which I still cannot understand, I managed to buy enough food to feed double whom we are hosting on the big day. It seems what this was especially the case with those little pastry covered delights. In a lack of judgment, I have managed to collect way too many packets while totally forgetting that my guests are not all that f
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Back to the office after Christmas 🏢

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I am one of the lucky ones that has a bit of time off work between Christmas and New Year’s Day. It is all well and good but there are two first world problems that I dread when coming back in to the office. Firstly one being actually coming back to the office after having a bit of paid time off and the second being all the irritating conversations you get asked a million times a day by everybody you bump all with the same theme about what you got up to and “did you have a good Christmas”! I don’t know about you but the first few times you are asked are not at all testing and in fact it was nice to have a chat with somebody other than my household for a change, when the same question is asked in quick succession on the other hand, oh boy does it get tiring. I think the worst incident of this so far has been talking to somebody in a small office. This office might as well be a broom cupboard so anybody occupying the room can hear everything said. So when you finish your pointless Ch
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Oh I wish it could be Christmas…

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Seasonal blog post at Christmas with a negative undertone, oh how original… To be fair I do not hate Christmas but rather I don’t like all the marketing and being forced to do something. I’m more of a free spirit who can’t be controlled, told what to do or tamed, what’s that dear you want me to put the decorations up, can it wait for a bit?, no OK I’ll do it now… fuck! Starting on one of the two big issues with the whole Christmas thing is all the crap every shop and business has to pump out no stop for the whole of November and December enticing you to purchase from them. As if this Christmas deal it the best there ever has been since you know the last bloody sale that was exactly the same just not branded with a snowman and a few floating snowflakes. Supermarkets sweet Jesus (no offence around your birthday), how many bloody brussels sprouts does one need for 19p (looking at you Tesco). Right as you walk in the door you are almost punched square in the face with the pallet lo
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TikTok, WTF even is this?

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Now being somebody who has grown up in the age of the internet and witnessed all the mightily social media giants from their earliest days of conception to watching some of them fall to the land of lost to memories I can happily say I have seen it all. That was until TikTok reared its ugly head, TikTok is something else! There has always been attention-seeking individuals before the age of technology but platforms like YouTube and Twitch have given them centre stage in front of millions of people. We have all seen content lacking vlogging video of some socialite in sun soaked California just keep waffling on about this and that to which will have added no value to the watchers life what so ever. TikTok on the other hand just seems to be full of self-centred morons sharing their life as if they are royalty while dancing and acting like some forgotten “Z” list singer lip-syncing on MTV. For all those who have not ventured in to this new-fangled social media fear not for I have done i
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Mobile phone loud speaker

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  Hearing somebody else’s phone call is irritating enough let alone when they have their pissing phone on loudspeaker for the whole world to hear. I have had two memorable moments when I have wanted to grab their mobile phone and yeet it off in to the distance without a single moment of resentment, thinking about this in hindsight it would have been a public service. These two incidents in question happened once while at work and once while traveling somewhere on the train. Back where I was working in the office there was one manager who travel between two sites and gained the nickname of “Mr Big-Man” between myself and my fellow colleagues. He just had to be in contact with the opposite office at all times because heaven forbid that something happened while he was not there. Every time he came in and sat at the “hot swap desk”, he would almost like clockwork start talking unnecessarily loudly on his phone about some random bullshit. This normally had the rest of the office find a
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