Man Of The Internet

OMFG THERE IS A FUEL SHORTAGE… well no but also yes, let me explain! Just like back at the start of the pandemic here in the UK, the government said “no need to worry there is enough food to go around, keep on as normal” and the news media went on to say “there could be a shortage in some things” followed by some supermarkets saying “we are reducing our range on some items so everybody can get what they need”. This resulted in everybody going bat shit crazy buying up all the loo roll and tins of beans to horde away in their houses for the next few years like there will never be food ever again and we would be shitting ourselves every five seconds. As just like it has done many a time before history has repeated itself, but this time with the dinosaur go go juice that we all put in our cars. So what’s the real issues then I hear you say, nothing, there is none. The only thing mentioned was a shortage of drivers to drive HGV’s carrying our food, fuel and Amazon packages to our shop...

  I’m pretty sure that if there is such thing as the devil a squeaking dog toy was his invention without a doubt. I’m pretty sure they should be labelled with large warnings, possibly with flashing lights, as they are in my mind an offensive weapon, I would even go as far that they should need you to have a licence to own them! You may not know but I have a dog, a little annoying at that. He loves a good squeaky toy and will spend hours on end repeatedly biting just at the very right point to induce a quick repeated squeak over and over and over again completely destroying everybody’s sanity within ear shot of the fluffy little bastard! After the last trip to the pet shop to get some more dog food the better three quarters decided that we should also get yet another weapons grade dog toy to keep him happy. I’m pretty sure now that the weight of toys this one dog has is greater than the weight of the bloody dog, actually while we are talking about it looking right now at the dog...